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  4.  » Why might it be better to tone down your custody aspirations?

Why might it be better to tone down your custody aspirations?

Divorce can be heartbreaking as a parent. You know you won’t be able to spend as much time with your child as before because they will need to spend some of their time with the other parent. So you might be tempted to push for as great of a share of custody as you can get.

Before you do so, consider why this might not be such a good idea. Here are some reasons:

Your child needs their other parent, too

Kids tend to do better after a divorce when they still have sufficient access to both parents. If one parent is prevented from seeing that much of them because a court has given the bulk of the parenting time to the other parent, the child could lose out. This could affect their behavior, emotions, school results and future.

Inequality could hurt your co-parenting relationship

If your co-parent feels they got the short end of the straw, they may carry lasting resentment forward, especially if they believe you used underhanded tactics to get more parenting time. That could mean they are less cooperative when you need to ask them for favors or when co-parenting in general. It could also make communication more strained between you. That will make things harder for you and for your child.

Trying to find a more equitable division of parenting responsibilities and time is usually best for all concerned. There will of course be situations where this is not appropriate. If you are unsure what to do, seek guidance to help you understand the possibilities and their potential consequences.


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